Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
