i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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