i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize