When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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