I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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