bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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