i permit you to call me
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
