I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Drunk is a universal language darling
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
