Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
i think im in europe. pls send help
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize