Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have so much sex to catch up on
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize