i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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