i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
