the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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