I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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