He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
