What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
