Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
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I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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