Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
