I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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