Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.