ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.