Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
he just fucked me for my cheese..