Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
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i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
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I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?