Dude my mom stole all your condoms
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.