So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
