that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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