Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
