Whod you bang
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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