ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
They took my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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