the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
