For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
