Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
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