my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
