perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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