sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
