Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
