What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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