i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She bit a glass in half.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
