My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
