Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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