I must be too annoying 4 u.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
