I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
