The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
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Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
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Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize