when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
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usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
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He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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