oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
