Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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