Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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