Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.