she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?