Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.