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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.

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  21 Sketchy Drug Deals That Are Scary AF

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.

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• (760): View more from California

  It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect

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• (607): View more from New York

  So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.

  (607): View more from New York

  These are the moments that bond souls forever.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  Um, OK. WTF?

  (410): View more from Maryland

  The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.

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  17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".

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• (925): View more from California

  I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"

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