Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work

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(773): View more from Illinois

I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it

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(310): View more from California

and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity

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The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Read it at the TFLN blog
(415): View more from California

is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?

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(815): View more from Illinois

Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.

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(319): View more from Iowa

Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑

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