Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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