you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
