so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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