I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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