Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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