i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
