Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
