Just fell off a train. Bad.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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