After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My bed smells like the plague
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize