covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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