No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
