That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
